Trying to walk away from what use to be, but parts of my past are still testing me. Knowing I shouldn’t step back but I am unsure of what direction to lead of course forward well obviously.
Its not easy when you have been hurt so many times. Its not easy when you thought you got sincerity but instead all you get was lies. Built up to be tore down, suppressing your feelings with a smile so no one sees you frown. Never dealing with the pain within always trying to hold it in.
Until one day something triggers your emotions and you realize your not really over it but you should be because that’s what everyone keeps telling you to do, it doesn’t help if you don’t do it for you. People handle things in different ways everyone’s healing process isn’t the same.
I have realized I pushed things aside without questioning the reasons because I was supposed to just let it go without the worries of wanting to know. But in reality this isn’t easy for in the back of our mind your still wondering what if things would have been different how big would things have changed?
I have had some play with my emotions and come and go but truth be told it didn’t break me it helped me to grow. As I take my time with this new adventure in my life I will make sure to get it right. There is no guarantee in what might unfold but I have to express my past learn from it and continue forward. just channeling emotions that is time to let go of.